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I feel like this is a recurrent theme for me. I want to snuggle ALLL the babies, everywhere, all the time. To say I’m baby hungry is quite accurate as I want to eat all the little baby fingers and baby toes! I hear babies cry at work and I freak out and wanna take em home. I see babies in the store and I want to eat their little faces off. I’m so ready, I’ve BEEN so ready for a really long time. This little love in the photo above (Sylvie) does not know it yet but she’s going to be our baby’s BFF, that is of course if she makes it out of babyhood with her face intact and not kissed right off by me!

Here’s the latest:

Our magical unicorn of a human being surrogate has resolved her thyroid issues without the need of meds! This is huge! I’ve been thoroughly impressed by this woman from moment one but this is outrageous. She trusted her body to overcome this issue and I trusted her and it worked! Her TSH came down to an acceptable level and further testing revealed no underlying thyroid conditions are present.


We were all excited to transfer embryos on March 18th but the clinic in Chicago is full to max capacity on that day so we have to wait until April 3rd which is a Sunday. On that day I need a big favor from everyone. Pray, meditate, send light, think kind thoughts and any other goodness you can conjure our way!

We’ve all decided that a hotel sounds impersonal so we are going to stay in a Airbnb or VRBO place in downtown Chicago together. Brett has to work so he won’t be there but our surrogate her cute husband, my Auntie Chris and our spiritual guide will all be cozied up in some rad townhouse so we can eat together and just hang out and share space.

Spiritual guide? Yes, you read that right. This process is SO SCIENCE that we need to balance the scales!! Through a magical happenstance one of the most motherly Goddess amazing human beings I know is available and willing to come with us! This woman hosted the winter solstice party that was the scene for my very first (and infamous) date with Brett! I looked into having some energy work or singing bowls played and the rates these people wanted to charge were outrageous. For travel costs I can have someone I know and LOVE come and bring all the wonderful cosmic woo-woo into our pool of awesome!

Ten days after transfer she will go into her OB office and take a pregnancy test. Obviously the results will dictate our next steps.

As with any pregnancy there are SOO many factors and SOO many risks that truly we will have to wait until 20 weeks or so to start to get REALLY excited. As a healthcare professional I understand that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. I have mentally prepared myself for that and if it happens it won’t get in the way of moving forward. However we are less at risk for miscarriage because at the time of transfer we will have genetically tested all our embryos and only transferred robust genetically sound little dudes. The most common reason for spontaneous miscarriage is genetic abnormalities that are not compatible with life and we are going to test for those so our chances of miscarriage are lower.

In the meantime I am swimming in legal documents, consent forms and all manner of papers! Sheesh. It’s quite a lot of work to allow another human to carry your baby! Weird (not). On her part its quite a lot of work too. She sent me her medication schedule and BOY HOWDY is it involved!! The fertility clinic is going to get her so fertile we may have to put her in a bubble so as not to risk pregnancy via sneeze! Kidding! What they (the fertility clinic) are aiming to do is quiet her ovaries so she’s not ovulating at all, while at the same time fluffing up her uterine lining and tricking her body into thinking it’s already pregnant. At the time we transfer our embryos her body will already think she’s pregnant so our 5 day old embryos will cuddle down in a ready-made nursery! I imagine our embryos finding a home in that wonderful uterus of hers like little baby angels snuggling in amongst the clouds. Seriously though she has a massive amount of instructions to follow and I am SOOOO grateful that she is a magical unicorn and I trust her completely.

By now all 4 of you regular readers will have picked up on this woo-woo theme. I don’t want anyone to think our surrogate is some airheaded hippy-dippy weirdo. She and I are SO similar it’s funny. She is uber organized, pays incredible attention to detail, is an architectural designer who owns her own business and runs a house of three kids plus one darling husband. I feel both she and I have put more emphasis on this mystical magical aspect of ourselves and the world around us as a coping mechanism and a way to balance all this medicine and science. We’re both very logical and functional humans who just happen to prefer our logic with a side of magic sauce.

When we listed our criteria for a surrogate one thing we wanted was a relationship with her. It really seemed like a no brainer for me, how on Earth could I NOT know the woman who was carrying my babe? With each day, text, conversation and FaceTime call I feel we get closer. Now I’m to the point where I want to talk to her all the time! I wish she lived next door so we could have coffee and chat. I want to get to know her cute kids, husband and family. Now it’s hard that she’s far away. I am really looking forward to our trip to Chicago for the super obvious reason of doing the transfer but also just to spend time with her and her husband.

On my end I have been working hard to prepare my body for motherhood too. The local cancer hospital has this incredible program that includes 2 days/week personal training for 9 months! Funny they chose that number! When they asked my fitness goals I proudly said, “motherhood”. I want to wear and carry my baby all over these Utah mountains and not feel like I’m gonna pass out! I want to increase my resiliency for function on less sleep as well as get over fear of working out my arms post mastectomy. Caring for a wee babe is seriously hard work, funny but it’s a job I feel I’ve been training for my whole life. Now things are getting really real and I need to get my baby lifting arms as strong as my baby lifting heart!