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It has been some time since was up and functional. I gotta say it’s a weird thing to blog your life story. When last I had decent readership I was bald and in chemo. To watch the numbers of reads decline as my hair grew back was an odd feeling. It was as if once I was “better” people lost interest. Don’t feel bad, this is a very common response I’ve heard from a lot of other cancer warriors. Hair = done with cancer = cured. If only it were that easy! I can’t really blame you all, I lost interest too. As I began to walk the road to survivorship I didn’t want to be associated with cancer and it was weird to have so many people know so much about my life.

You may be saying, “well Duh Nurse Kate what did you expect?” I did not really know what to expect. I was diagnosed with cancer and could not answer the phone more than 20 times per day (ok more like 4), I needed a place for people to come and hear the latest. The blog was perfect for that. I would love to know how many texts I sent that read, “Its on the blog”. I put it up for friends and family, the end. What I did not expect was for friends of friends to recommend it to this or that person and have it grow as it did. My most favorites were getting emails from other cancer warriors offering advice or just a kind word. It’s an odd club to be in, but it is a club for sure.

A lot has happened in the years since I took down. As most of you know I’ve started a little side business helping others make better food choices called Resilient Body Nutrition. I love working with people and food and everything that goes with owning a little tiny business.

I’m still working as a pediatric nurse. My position with the rehab team was dissolved after 7 years when our group merged with a bigger group. It broke my heart, I loved that job and my patients and families with all my heart. As one position was dissolved for no good reason, another was created. A really small but wonderful group of nurses that work in our short procedure anesthesia suite, I’d been working with them for years in my other position, heard I was being displaced and they created a PRN (as needed) position for me. It’s weird to be the newbie again but the group of humans I work with are amazing.

I gotta tell you all, with all my griping about people knowing too much, I have been missing the personal blog for a few reasons. Having a forum where I can say what I want to say, don’t have to count words or stay on one particular subject is wildly appealing. It’s kind of like having my own planet, if I wanna say ass, I can say ass or poopyboogerface and not worry about it affecting my brand (too much). I also miss the dialog my readers provided me, so amazing to connect with people all over the world and right next door through shared experience. And there is that subjective element of writing it down and really looking at it that clarifies the thought, no matter what it is.

Currently I am working on revising the old blog entries into a publishable body of writing (with new info and supplemental entries previously un-read) as yet another cancer story book so my oncologist will stop buggin me about it. (I’ll be expecting TONS of sales based on your referrals Dr. Beck!)

There is also something very significant going on in our lives right now and I wanna talk about it. After much deliberation, depression and heartbreak over not carrying my own child we have decided to pursue surrogacy.

I know a very few number of people who have gone through this process (ok 2) and I know there are more out there. Like cancer, maybe someone out there can offer advice through shared experience and maybe, just maybe someone will benefit from my meanderings as we wade through the process.

So that’s the news and that’s where we are.

This photo was taken by Brett while we were on a Dowden Family vacation on St. Helena Island, South Carolina 2013. What you are seeing are the lights of Charleston behind the sleepy docks on St. Helena at night. Magical!